Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize