She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
