Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize