hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
