I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
