i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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