guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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