I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize