Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
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