why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
