So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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