i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
