You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
