I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
did you just send me my own nude
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
