awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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