i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
