i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize