The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
