it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
