so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
