worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
