How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
