dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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