quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
