i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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