so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
