She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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