Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm at about main and main street
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
