Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
