is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
