Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
