We're facebook friends in real life
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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