Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
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