i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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