So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
