at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
