You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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