Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
