the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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