To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
