me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
