Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
No stitches, just platelets and will power
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
