I think I died a long time ago.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
