Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
