I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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