She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
