...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
