Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize