Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
