After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Four minutes until I can fart!
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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