***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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