I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I wear drunk well.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize