me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
