My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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