Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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