im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
