Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
