Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
