ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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