Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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