it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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