remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
