and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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