i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
We got so high we made milksteak
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
