where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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