I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
