He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize