Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
My bed is full of blood and feathers
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize