i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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