Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We just shotgunned beers for America
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
