So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My vagina just clenched in fear
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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