Say something about gay babies.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
